


Popsicle

by NavyPier



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Daydreaming, Fantasizing, Food Porn, Humor, Imagination, It's supposed to be funny, Kinda, M/M, Oblivious!Steve, Overactive Imagination, Popsicles, Seriously crack, not really - Freeform, phallic food, pining!bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 06:24:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8090998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavyPier/pseuds/NavyPier
Summary: The best remedy on a hot summer day can be a very cool treat... Too bad some Super Soldiers just don't know how to turn down the temperature!...It's as cheesy as it sounds. There are Patriotic Popsicles.Humor!Fic. Crack!Fic. Enjoy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This wonderful work of fiction was originally created as a Happy Birthday for the wonderful [musicanova](http://archiveofourown.org/users/musicanova/pseuds/musicanova), who is amazing. Thanks to some yelling, pressuring, ALL CAPS, beta-ing, fixing, and all around support from the fantastic [kajmere](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajmere/pseuds/Kajmere), it looks like it is being posted here for all of you fine folks.
> 
> I do not share often, so I am unsure of what to say. This here is complete and utter crack. It is for complete fun-sies and laughs. I truly hope you enjoy it.

“ _Grape_.”

It should be easy! At least, not too hard. Reacclimating to some form of small, elite, group military lifestyle. Special treatment. Being an all-around badass. After all, Bucky Barnes had done it in the 1940’s. Why couldn’t The Winter Soldier-Slash-Bucky Barnes do it now?

“That’s _disgusting_!” Captain Steven G. Rogers of the 107th, adoringly and formerly ‘ _Squirt_ ,’ currently Captain America, had an utter look of contempt etched across his features. He was holding out an item in plain white packaging, pinched between two fingers and extended a full arm's length away from his body as if he were truly afraid of further contact. “Grape is such a… _Menacing_ flavor.”

Oh.

 _Oh yeah_.

That’s why Bucky was having such a hard time. All muscle mass and wing span was standing there, eyes shining, with an already unwrapped red, white and blue Bomb Pop in the other hand cradled close to his chest. Steve was always this excited about food.

Bucky simply grunted in response and eyed the multicolored frozen treat as if it was just as guilty.

“It’s my favorite _flavors_ , it has nothing to do with the _colors_ ,” Steve muttered defensively as he shielded his dessert (as if it needed protecting?) and popped the freezer door shut with a flex of his shoulder blade. Steve was quick to swivel on his heel and stalked out onto one of the many balconies of the Avengers tower. Bucky continued to glower at the appliance door, still skeptical.

The summer air was sticky around them, hanging heavy like a blanket. It didn’t take anything more than for someone to wander ten steps out and you would find beads of sweat forming around their hairline and in the creases of their skin. Steve was sitting at the edge of the balcony by one of Tony’s infinity pools where there was no railing, feet dangling and swinging back and forth over the edge like a child. By the time Bucky had made it over to him he had already begun nursing his popsicle. Bucky eased himself down silently, gracefully, unwavering eyes trained on every movement.

Steve slowly lapped up the sides of his treat, clearing away the slight frost that covered the surface before swirling his tongue around the tip, catching any falling drops and appeared to be savoring every last sugary gram. Bucky sat beside him, popsicle completely untouched. His imagination had officially kicked into overdrive. The hazy heat seemed to make everything around Steve shine, the reflection of light bouncing off of the water throwing sparkles through the air, and suddenly every movement seemed to deliberately slow down. Steve had always had impossibly long lashes and they were fluttering against his high cheekbones, his ocean blue eyes raising to meet Bucky’s, and the corners of his certainly chilled, cherry-red lips began to curl up in a smile as he barred his teeth and clamped down…

Bucky’s expression twisted in to utter agony as the daydream before him shattered in a million pieces. The tip of the Bomb Pop was now completely flat, and the rest of the treat was shoved unceremoniously into Steve’s cheeks as he gnawed along the sides. Bucky felt himself pale.

It sounded like Steve tried to say his name, but it came out completely unintelligible as he bit off a chunk from the side of his dessert. Thankfully he chewed it up completely first before trying again, this time removing the offending objecting before asking, “What’s wrong?” He leaned forwards and backwards, craning a bit to check the surrounding area for anything that could be wrong, and after finding nothing out of the ordinary, he took another large bite from the tip of his popsicle and leveled Bucky with a concerned gaze.

Swallowing thickly, Bucky closed his eyes and tried to collect himself by counting backwards from ten and trying this again. The wave of summer heat seemed to hit him all at once. The small hairs around his forehead and the base of his neck were sticking to his skin and his clothes were clinging to every previous position he had held. As he let his eyes slide open, it was the first time he seemed to notice Steve’s body was reacting the exact same way. His too-tight t-shirt was clinging underneath the defined shelf of his perfect tits, the soft underside of his hair was turning more brown than it was gold, and droplets of sweat seemed to pool in the curvatures of his neck as he turned.

“You might want to fix that, you’ll stain your shorts.”

In record time Bucky felt his face go hot, burning hot, probably beet red. The tips of his ears burned with a heat that did not come from the current season they were living and his gaze fell instantly to his lap, dreading a moment of embarrassment that he had not experienced since the 1930’s.

“Your popsicle is melting.”

_Oh._

Slowly, just to be on the safe side, Bucky dragged his eyes up to the hand holding his completely untouched popsicle. Sure enough, sticky, wet rivers of purple sugar were steadily starting to make their way into the creases of his fingers. One had even made it down his hand and was slowly trailing over the veins in his wrist, temporarily sending a shiver up his spine.

He was making a mess.

He imagined Steve elegantly taking Bucky’s hand in his own, bringing the dirtied digits up to his lips and as he'd begin to lick off the melted treat, expertly cleaning his fingers one by one, lingering on the tip of the middle finger while he looked up at Bucky with those watery, pouty blue eyes.

“ _Seriously_ , Buck, it’s dripping all over your shorts! They’re going to _stain_!”

Steve’s voice was bordering on the shrill side. After all, Bucky realizes he is wearing Steve’s Under Armour gym shorts that he probably spent way too much money on, thanks to Tony, but he could care less at the moment as he turns to Steve, making a cool expression as he raises his sticky, dripping hand and lets it slowly gravitate towards Steve’s face.

“Don’t you want to lick it off?” Bucky’s voice betraying him, barely above a whisper.

This time Steve did shriek. He swatted at Bucky’s hand, knocking it back as he flinched away from the offending grape flavored drops. At the sudden jarring motion, the last bit of life clinging to the popsicle seemed to slip away as the remaining chunk slid from the stick and fell from the edge of the Avengers tower. Both of them watch it fall.

“That’s gross, Buck, I don’t know where your hand has _been_!” With a huff, Steve shoves the remanence of his popsicle into his mouth, before his patriotic treat suffers the same fate, and stands. Unlike Bucky, who was muttering something about ‘not being hungry anyways,’ Steve was licking his stick clean when he offered his hand to Bucky.

His left hand.

 _Very deliberately_ his left hand, as he made sure to grab and heave Bucky up by his metal hand and not the one slowly crusting over with artificially flavored evil. As Bucky straightened up, coming up just a bit short (which still took some getting used to, by the way), he felt his trademark 1930’s lopsided cheshire grin spread immediately across his face. For a moment the Bucky Barnes of dancehalls was back standing in front of Steve Rogers. Taken aback, Steve stood very still, brows knitted together in confusion.

“You’ve got some…” Bucky trailed off, his metal fingers waving in a very vague motion around Steve’s mouth. Still looking confused, expression never wavering, Steve licked his lips.

Bucky shook his head.

Steve licked his lips again, this time exaggerating the gesture in an attempt to cover more surface area.

Bucky’s eyes tracked the movement of his favorite muscle belonging to Steve, shook his head again, and stretched that cheshire grin into a smirk. Steve’s expression settled into a glare, but there was something unsettling in that gaze. Straightening up and squaring his shoulders, Steve began to retreat. Slowly, he took a step back. And another.

Bucky began to advance. For each step back Steve took, Bucky took one step forward.

“B-Buck?” Steve glanced behind him, probably looking for something to defend himself. There was nothing. Open patio. He would probably trip backwards over a patio chair before he could use it as a weapon, which made Bucky smile to himself. “What are you doing?” Steve asks.

Bucky reached forward and grabbed the collar of Steve’s shirt, hauling him forward so that the dried streaks of blue and red sugar dribbling down his chin were in his direct line of sight.

Bucky licked his lips.

“ _Helping_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Breathes deeply.
> 
> There it is. It is done.
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed. I hope you laughed at least once!
> 
> I must once again thank the wonderful people that are responsible for this insanity, [kajmere](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajmere/pseuds/Kajmere) and [musicanova](http://archiveofourown.org/users/musicanova/pseuds/musicanova). You are both amazing, thank you.
> 
> I would love to hear what everyone thought! Kudos and comments and jazz. :3 I am [mchickencakes](mchickencakes.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you want to yell at me about the Cap'n. Cheers~


End file.
